Friday, May 6, 2011

....

Struggling.
Confused.
I don't understand.



"I wanna fit into the perfect space
feel natural and safe in a volatile place."
-The Avett Brothers

"Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean's tides
can I handle the seasons of my life?"
-Fleetwood Mac

Growing up is a struggle.



"Landslide" is one of my favorite songs ever; I love to hear Stevie sing it, and I loved Gwyneth Paltrow's version on Glee, but the Dixie Chicks ultimately have the best version. 




Monday, May 2, 2011

"Martyred"

Last night, the nation turned on their computers, televisions, and radios to hear news that gives all Americans reason to celebrate:  Navy Seals, in a special operation, killed Osama Bin Laden, mastermind behind Al Qaeda and the horrific 9/11 terrorist attacks.  In New York City, people flocked to Ground Zero and Times Square, chanting "USA"!  The White House, the streets of Boston, and numerous other locations held similar scenes.  For families who have lost loved ones in the 9/11 attacks or in the 10-years of war succeeding them, it seems justice has been served.  No doubt the war on terror is far from over, though; the likelihood of an extreme Islamic retaliatory act is high. 

However, this morning I vowed, at least for today, to truly focus on the celebratory spirit sweeping the nation; America's intelligence agencies located Osama and took him down without harm to any civilians.  I know God was truly watching over these agents who carried out this act.

Yet, I was amazed today at a number of things (namely, how little my students know about the whole situation, but I'll save that for the end).  I was surprised at the number of people who simply are apathetic and indifferent to the whole situation.  I even heard somebody say today, "Who cares?  This doesn't affect me."  My impulse was to reach out and smack her on the mouth.  What does she mean "it doesn't affect her?"  People are risking their lives to protect her (and you and me) and she is indifferent?  How sad.  Elie Wiesel, famed  author, Nobel Prize winner, and Holocaust survivor, claimed, "The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference."  Indifference and apathy are like poisonous weeds that spread throughout the nation, choking out the beauty and bravery of this world. 

Also, I was surprised (but in a curious way) by the number of Christians who weren't so quick to cheer and chant over Bin Laden's death.  Some acknowledge that while there are many verses in the Bible about defeating evil and taking down our enemies, we are also called to mourn for lost souls and not to gloat about our victories.  This brief blog post by Rev. James Howell sums up many Christian's current thoughts:

http://revjameshowell.blogspot.com/2011/05/cheering-bin-ladens-fall.html

However, though I don't blame Rev. Howell for his confusion as he sorts out his emotions in the matter, I still feel that after ten years of fear, sadness, grief, and anger, why not release that negativity through chanting and cheering for our country, its leaders, and its troops? 

I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
Luke 10:19

No weapon forged against you shall prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
Isaiah 54:17

For the Lord your God moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. 
Deuteronomy 23:14

Through You, we push back our enemies; through Your name we trample our foes.
Psalm 44:5

And lastly, my life verse:
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?  The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

Tonight, I am thanking God for this victory, but also asking for His continued protection as this may just be the beginning of a new war on terror.

On a lighter, but no less sadder note, I called out some students on their ignorance today.   Two boys in my class who think they know everything (and who spend the entire class period disrupting their peers) tried to make fun of me today.  While reading Julius Caesar, I decided to take a moment to tie the events of the play in with Bin Laden's death.  The class was having a thoughtful discussion when a student asked me if I thought extreme Islamists would retaliate to seek retribution for Osama's death.  I said that is obviously a cause for concern if Al Qaeda looks at it as if Osama was "martyred".  The two boys laughed,  pointed at me, and plainly said, "Uh, Mrs. Martin, you think we're dumb?  Try saying "murdered" the right way.  When did you get such a stupid accent?"  I stared blankly at them, confused, until I realized they thought I intended to say "murdered" and not "martyred".  I simply stated that I definitely meant "martyred".  They just looked at me with big question marks over their heads.  I looked around the room.  "Does nobody in here know what it means to be martyred?"  The majority of the class knew that it means to die for one's beliefs.  The two boys, feeling sheepish, asked me why I didn't just say "murdered"; as I tried to explain (and they rolled their eyes and blocked me out), they never could see the difference.

I also had many students who thought Saddam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden were the same person. 

*sigh*

Continued prayer for those who lost loved ones/homes in the storms last week...

Sunday, May 1, 2011

We "Mayde" it to May!

Many allusions have been made recently to The Wizard of Oz, due to the large number of destructive tornadoes that ripped through Tennessee (and four other states) last Wednesday.  Many people have lost their homes and even their loved ones; our house wasn't touched at all, yet a minute away our co-worker's house is practically in ruins.  There is no rhyme or reason in determining why some houses were hit and others weren't; I just know that God is in control and is showing his awesome power more and more.  In the words of one faithful man this week:  "You better get ready, Jesus is coming!"

Perhaps he is very right.

On another note, my triathlon is two weeks from today.  Jennifer and I did a trial on Friday after school; swam the whole race length, biked almost the whole race, then ran the 5K.  We were certainly fatigued, but we were both surprised that we didn't quite feel as "dead" as we anticipated.  It was very encouraging; however, I have had a swollen lymph node pop up under my chin.  I had the school nurse check it out, and she told me not to see a doctor unless it worsened.  She also told me to just "rest" to be on the safe side.  I went on with the tri-trial (and worked my hiney off yesterday around the house).  Then I confessed these things to my mother, who freaked out completely: "What if you have mono?  That was the worst thing you could do!  If you're spleen ruptures, you could die!"  Well, fortunately I didn't die.  The node is still swollen but not quite as bad as it was on Friday.  I am praying it is nothing; if for some reason I do have mono, then that only brings bad news.  I don't even want to think about it.

It makes me wonder if it's not another condition, though; after training so hard for this triathlon, I've lost no weight.  Zero.  My body hasn't changed a bit.  To be honest, the only reason I signed up to do this tri is because I thought it would help me lose weight, yet NOTHING has happened.  It makes no sense.  I am also losing hair like crazy.  Handfuls of it come out in the shower.  Sounds like an underactive thyroid, but I was just tested last summer.  It's pretty miserable and discouraging to work so hard and not see any results. 

Three weeks of school left; we will all rejoice when it's officially summer!