Are you the type of person who feels like you rarely do anything right? Do you feel worthless, pathetic, and shunned by society? This is not an advertisement for happy pills; I just want to know that I am not the only one who feels like this. As I type, I consider the name of my blog: A Little More Than Useless, and it's inspiration (Relient K's song by the same title). I should remind myself that I am not useless, but it's hard to believe sometimes. Lately I feel like the sorriest teacher to have ever walked the planet. I feel like I haven't covered everything I am supposed to. I feel like I have a bad case of word vomit where I just say things that I regret at the end of the day. I hurt students' feelings daily, whether I mean to or not (and yes, unfortunately, at times I have meant to). How terrible! How terrible that I let some obnoxious teenagers get the best of me; since when did someone become a teacher so that he or she could deal with the "likeable" students? I have got to get a grip on the reality of the situation.
I also need to learn to push through exhaustion in a better way. I truly believe that one reason I feel like a crappy teacher is that by the end of the day, when I happen to have my "roughest" class, I am soooooooo tired that I just don't have the energy to "put on a horse and pony show" as my mother (a middle school teacher) would say. People who aren't teachers may not relate to this, especially if they went through school taking notes while teachers lectured. There's no such thing as lecture anymore. There is also no such thing as "ok guys, I want you to read this chapter or work on this worksheet and please don't talk or break any rules". The "best" teachers switch up activities every 20 minutes or so, and by golly, in a 90-minute class period with little to no resources, that is awfully hard to do! There are some great teachers out there (and at my workplace) who can do this; I am not saying it can't be done. I'm only stating that I am not one of those teachers, no matter how hard I try. My cynical and less-than-optimistic nature doesn't help much, either.
Oh well. I guess it's not a crime to want to be a better teacher. I am sure doctors want to be better doctors; accountants (Stacy) want to be better accountants; lawyers want to be better lawyers; artists want to be better artists...and so on.
On another note, this gal right here has tickets now to see Dolly Parton at Thompson Boling Arena in July! Excited is an understatement. I am hoping we will have a moment where we make eye contact and she realizes we were meant to be best friends. And on that note, I leave you with a Dolly montage.
"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails." -Dolly
"You'll never do a whole lot unless you're brave enough to try." -Dolly
(triathlon, here I come!)
"It costs a lot to look this cheap!" -Dolly
"I have small feet because things don't grow in the shade." -Dolly
"I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would've taken the fire department four days to put it out." -Dolly
And last but not least, I leave you with a vintage video of Dolly singing one of my favorites, "Jolene" live.
And for extra fun, here is "Jolene" sung and played by Norah Jones, John Mayer, and Keith Urban at this year's Grammy's!
