Type A

I do believe we're finally going back to school tomorrow, and I'm sure we're in for a crazy day due to some scheduling issues.  I had a great semester and will miss most of my students I had this fall.  This is a rare feeling!  However, it sends a warning signal to me that perhaps I won't feel so sentimental towards this next batch of students as next semester ends.  BUT that would be thinking negatively, now, wouldn't it?  I've been trying to do a lot less of that lately!  I've really prayed and made an effort to not only think more positively, but to not let stress and worry consume me.  I have to face it:  I am a type a personality.  I love to have control, I'm a perfectionist in many areas, and become anxious and overwhelmed easily. And it's only getting worse as I get older.  I get so stressed that I've even chosen to begin a Master's program at ETSU to become a library and media specialist.  Now, I am CERTAINLY aware that librarians have a very important job and it is not to be taken lightly.  However, sometimes the stresses of teaching feel like they're going to break me, and I really want an option; something to fall back on in case I'm driven to insanity by the many pressures of the classroom.

On the subject of that Master's degree, today was the first day of classes.  I'm taking three classes (9 credit hours) this semester through ETSU online, and when I saw the workload for these classes today, I almsot cried.  I think I asked my husband several times, "what have I done?"  I've never been a student with a full-time job at the same time.  I marvel at people of any age who can maintain a job, go to school, and sometimes even master the ultimately difficult job of being a mom or a dad!  Hats off to you if you are one of these people!

Of course, it is not too late for me to drop one of these classes....but I think I'm going to give it a try.  Again, I am going to have to really work on not becoming overwhelmed with the work that lies ahead of me.  I know all of us who have ever been a student (high school, undergrad, graduate, etc) feel this way throughout most of the semester.  The nerdy side of me is very excited to get started, though! 

Back to me being a type a...I know it is dangerous.  Literally-it's dangerous.  People with type a personalities have more heart attacks and typically do not live as long as type b people.  I have a heart condition as it is that requires me to watch my caffeine intake, exercise regularly, and at least try to manage my stress, so being a type a on top of this cannot be good.  I'm working hard on letting go of things I can't control.  For instance, I hate winter.  I do.  I am 100% a warm-weather, flip-flop wearin', sunshine kinda gal, and I've spent many a winter griping about the cold.  But what's the use?  I have nothing to do with the weather.  This winter, I don't think I've complained once.  Instead, I've made an effort to embrace the beauty of the snow (and the restful days off of work that accompany it).  I've not whined and fretted over making up these snow days either, because I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT.  None.  I've thanked God copiously for the fact that during this wintry weather, I have a warm house, warm clothes, and hot meals.  How many homeless people die each night because they have none of the blessings I just mentioned?  How many single parents out there TRULY have something to worry about, like how they're going to pay the next bills or protect their child from the cold?  My worries and fears pale in comparison.  There are people battling cancer, or watching a loved one battling cancer.  There are people in Haiti living in tents, and people in Brazil and Australia who have just watched their home wash away with great floods.  There are those mourning in Arizona, and those who are having to face the humiliation of begging people on city streets for money or food.  And I dare, for a second, to even think that my worries of being an inadequate teacher or not getting schoolwork done on time merits the same amount of anxiety?

I know that no worry is too big or too small for God, but the point it, we shouldn't worry at all. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
Matthew 6:25-27

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Matthew 6:34

"An anxious heart weighs a man down,
but a kind word cheers him up."
Proverbs 12:25

See, God cares about my heart, and yours.  It is now my duty to take care of it as much as I can, and that includes letting go of my worries and casting my cares upon Christ.  It is not only physically healthier, but spirtitually healthier as well.